It is so wonderful and sweet to believe love is unconditional. But the truth is love is always conditional.
Even God will get anger over those who does not follows his way. Even God will not love his negative counterpart. Even God will punish those who are wicked. So how could we mere moral be even better than Him. How could we gives unconditional love.
For it is human nature to stop loving someone whom treat them unkindly, it is just a matter of time before that person decides enough is enough. Everyone have a limit.
Then is there some truth in unconditional love. Maybe there is, maybe when you will never intentionally hurt your loved one, maybe when you sincerely apologies when you unwittingly did and maybe when you always be aware of your own action on her.
For the one who deserve your relationship will never let you cry.
And now how I wish I respond better to those who had cried.
Howie Day - Collie
Friday, December 19, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Natalie & Natasha
Two beautiful, young and very confident young gals. They were travelling with their parent, part of the tour group I belong to. I am stuck by how cheerful and well-mannered they are. They are sensible beyond their age and their level of maturity is impressive.
And I believe it is the result of how well their parent have bought them up. During the trip, I see in action how their dad make use of situation to supplement a particular trait of their daughter. Always supporting Natasha in her decision and training her to be confident. And always there to give a little push to Natalie to express her feelings and confidence.
And it is amazing at the result, and I confident that they will grow up to be beautiful people and a plus to their friends. And a inspiration to me.
And I believe it is the result of how well their parent have bought them up. During the trip, I see in action how their dad make use of situation to supplement a particular trait of their daughter. Always supporting Natasha in her decision and training her to be confident. And always there to give a little push to Natalie to express her feelings and confidence.
And it is amazing at the result, and I confident that they will grow up to be beautiful people and a plus to their friends. And a inspiration to me.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Turkey Nov 25 - Dec 5
Ever changing landscape, from flat plains, rolling hills, to historic ruins is Turkey. In 11 days, we saw Istanbul, Dardanellus, Trojan Horse, Ayvalik, Ephesus, Virgin Mary Shrine, Hierapolis, Pamukkale, Whirling Dervishes, Cappadocia, Anaka, Sanfrabolu and finally home.
Total number of pics exceeding 288 and still counting...
A good rest and trip.
Total number of pics exceeding 288 and still counting...
A good rest and trip.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Nokia e51 sms message counter
As E51 uses Symbian S60 3rd Edition OS and all phones that uses this OS does not have the sms counter. So I figure out that someone out there must must be frustrated by this and had written a application to solve this.
It turns out finding a message/sms counter for E51 is more work than expected. After several false start, I found one that works,
FreiMinMon : a application with German UI. (Translated Page here)
And to make FreiMinMon runs, Python must to be installed. The Python link in the FreiMinMon pages does not work. Luckily, a quick google search leads to Nokia implementation of Python, Py60. The necessary S60 Python files can be downloaded here.
Follow through with FreMinMon installation and ta da, you have a free message counter for E51
Other application I tried is SMS Counter but it fails to load on my E51. Maybe it will work for other Symbian S60 OS, do let me know as it have English UI.
Also, tried PBC SMS Counter from Nokia MOSH website (for Nokia "vetted" third part software). However, it requires payment to use and it is really silly that the downloaded trail version is expired.
It turns out finding a message/sms counter for E51 is more work than expected. After several false start, I found one that works,
FreiMinMon : a application with German UI. (Translated Page here)
And to make FreiMinMon runs, Python must to be installed. The Python link in the FreiMinMon pages does not work. Luckily, a quick google search leads to Nokia implementation of Python, Py60. The necessary S60 Python files can be downloaded here.
Follow through with FreMinMon installation and ta da, you have a free message counter for E51
Other application I tried is SMS Counter but it fails to load on my E51. Maybe it will work for other Symbian S60 OS, do let me know as it have English UI.
Also, tried PBC SMS Counter from Nokia MOSH website (for Nokia "vetted" third part software). However, it requires payment to use and it is really silly that the downloaded trail version is expired.
Monday, November 24, 2008
E51 minus
E51 have several minus which personally I feel if corrected, will make it a even better phone. The first is lack of sms counter, there no ways to track the amount of sms sent.
What is available in a count of both send and received sms which does not tell you much how much you have send or received. It seem it a fault at the Symbian OS level which the phone based on.
Luckily there available free application that provide the missing function.
The other is its handfree function, you have to wait for the call to be connected before the handfree function can be activated. That mean you have dail the number you wanted and press a 2nd time to activate the handfree function. You have to look at the phone to activate it. That a chore when I am driving. In my previous 6320i, I can activate the handfree function once I start dailing.
With these in mind, my next phone must have not these minus. Little things like this are what make the overall experiences better, in this case poorer.
What is available in a count of both send and received sms which does not tell you much how much you have send or received. It seem it a fault at the Symbian OS level which the phone based on.
Luckily there available free application that provide the missing function.
The other is its handfree function, you have to wait for the call to be connected before the handfree function can be activated. That mean you have dail the number you wanted and press a 2nd time to activate the handfree function. You have to look at the phone to activate it. That a chore when I am driving. In my previous 6320i, I can activate the handfree function once I start dailing.
With these in mind, my next phone must have not these minus. Little things like this are what make the overall experiences better, in this case poorer.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
opportunity in recession
Given the current world wide economic crisis, the takeaway from it is there will be at least min 3 recession in ones lifetime. So with this knowledge, financial planning becomes more of knowing of creating plans for the different phase in a economic cycle.
Whether to save and then invest during a recession is maybe a too extreme plan, thou it have a simple and elegant logic to it.
The current crisis wipe out more than 20% in a person investment, considering if a financial plan have a target rate of 10%. This different is very painful to bear to that person. So the question is than readjust for target rate, given this occurrence.
There a lesson to learn here.
Whether to save and then invest during a recession is maybe a too extreme plan, thou it have a simple and elegant logic to it.
The current crisis wipe out more than 20% in a person investment, considering if a financial plan have a target rate of 10%. This different is very painful to bear to that person. So the question is than readjust for target rate, given this occurrence.
There a lesson to learn here.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
English to Chinese Google Style
Come across this neat tool that tanslate English to Chinese and vice versa. It is a partnership between Google and a famous E-C Chinese dictionary in China.
http://g.iciba.com/
Using a mouse over, its provides the chinese version of a english or vice versa. It translates whole paragraphs too and have a voice pronunciation feature too.
Simply loving it.
http://g.iciba.com/
Using a mouse over, its provides the chinese version of a english or vice versa. It translates whole paragraphs too and have a voice pronunciation feature too.
Simply loving it.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Stuff from Past
Clearing the old cupboard, throwing away memories, keeping those with sentimental value is a mental exercise of deciding what to keep and what to let go.
Items from false friendships are the easiest to be swollen by the dust bin. You wonder why you keep them so long, maybe cos you never have a need to house clean until now.
Greeting cards, photos and letters from time of a younger you surprise you by how kind, sweet, and intense is the memory from a time when life is less hectic and a very blur you are.
The sweetest are a bunch of letters from a friend about her suffering in the last days of her study. Reading them bring a smile to your face and how you could had done more to help her. She is happier now, flying between HK and SG, following her hubby. Quietly, you filed them away, locking away a evidence of past memories for future enjoyment and potential smile.
Next, photos from a birthday outing with a crush bring a smile to your face . You wonder if you should keep them, for the married her look the same as before in that photo and you silly entertained the thought of asking her if she wants them. Laughing quietly, you tenderly close the small album and move it to the same pile of stuff to flow into the dust bin.
The most difficult are those that evoke a double feelings of happiness past and deep pain now. Keeping means assigning to them and remembering those special happy moments in the past and yet feeling the deep pains that they bring now. You can decides that you can either drop them away into a deep storage, to be discovered and to be decide again in the future or simply discard them now.
You never realise how sentimental you are until you see the amount of memories and stuff you have around once they are unpacked. You smiled as you realised that you are not alone as most human are sentimental to certain degree.
Some stuff to be kept and some stuff to be clear so that the new ones can came in.
Items from false friendships are the easiest to be swollen by the dust bin. You wonder why you keep them so long, maybe cos you never have a need to house clean until now.
Greeting cards, photos and letters from time of a younger you surprise you by how kind, sweet, and intense is the memory from a time when life is less hectic and a very blur you are.
The sweetest are a bunch of letters from a friend about her suffering in the last days of her study. Reading them bring a smile to your face and how you could had done more to help her. She is happier now, flying between HK and SG, following her hubby. Quietly, you filed them away, locking away a evidence of past memories for future enjoyment and potential smile.
Next, photos from a birthday outing with a crush bring a smile to your face . You wonder if you should keep them, for the married her look the same as before in that photo and you silly entertained the thought of asking her if she wants them. Laughing quietly, you tenderly close the small album and move it to the same pile of stuff to flow into the dust bin.
The most difficult are those that evoke a double feelings of happiness past and deep pain now. Keeping means assigning to them and remembering those special happy moments in the past and yet feeling the deep pains that they bring now. You can decides that you can either drop them away into a deep storage, to be discovered and to be decide again in the future or simply discard them now.
You never realise how sentimental you are until you see the amount of memories and stuff you have around once they are unpacked. You smiled as you realised that you are not alone as most human are sentimental to certain degree.
Some stuff to be kept and some stuff to be clear so that the new ones can came in.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
10 min
10 mins, that the amount of time it takes for you to reach home now. Man controlling the machine in harmony, switching lane, weaving from vehicle to the next, listening to your favourite song and moving at 100 km/h is a thrill that you enjoy at night along AYE.
You laugh because you remember to try a different style of acceleration to get better fuel economy. A kind of game where you play to get the most from your machine.
You laugh again as it felt right, getting this machine even though it was a vain decision. There is a certain freedom gain, for Singapore have become smaller and distance is question of how soon. Now, empty highway at night is a temptation to speed.
You remember that statistically, somewhere long time ago, the 3rd month of car insurance have the most accident because in that month is where the beginner drivers abandon their carefulness. It is now the 3rd month for you now and you laugh if you will become another part of the statistic.
Dear Guardian angel, be with me, to guide, to light my stride. Thank you for protecting me in my past and future journey. Amen!
In your presence - Chris De Silva
You laugh because you remember to try a different style of acceleration to get better fuel economy. A kind of game where you play to get the most from your machine.
You laugh again as it felt right, getting this machine even though it was a vain decision. There is a certain freedom gain, for Singapore have become smaller and distance is question of how soon. Now, empty highway at night is a temptation to speed.
You remember that statistically, somewhere long time ago, the 3rd month of car insurance have the most accident because in that month is where the beginner drivers abandon their carefulness. It is now the 3rd month for you now and you laugh if you will become another part of the statistic.
Dear Guardian angel, be with me, to guide, to light my stride. Thank you for protecting me in my past and future journey. Amen!
In your presence - Chris De Silva
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Isaiah 43:18-19
A new start, a new name and the beginning of a lifelong journey. Feeling alive, happy and gladness after the flow of water mark this new start.
18 "Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
The Heart of Worship - Charlie Hall
Monday, September 29, 2008
Forgiveness
Among the stories shared over dinner last night, the story of Will baby was the most touching and hurting.
"I will never go back to St. Bernadette again. My baby died and the priest do not want to come down and perform the last rites." Will said. Mar was almost in tears as she remembers.
Will, eye shining brightly and his voice louder than normal, asked "How do we know he is send off to heaven now?"
Will then shared, in his month of grief, he sought and got an audience with the archbishop. Will requested that the archbishop the priests gave the last rites even if the person is died. Archbishop, full of empathy for Will lost baby, asked where Will wife was, and then said a prayer for Will and Mar baby journey, which somewhat healed Will cries for sympathy.
I believe it is true for everyone have a special something deep within their heart, that if is not given, make forgiveness very hard for the person.
And sometimes, the party that did the hurt, do not know how deep the cut is or do not even know that they performed a cut. And that is the sadness part because how does apologies start the process of forgiveness. And in the midst of reconciliation, it is even harder to remember the 5 languages of apology.
And the story also taught me priest are human too beside their closeness to God, they too need human care, touch and forgiveness.
Chris De Silva - Lord. Have Mercy
"I will never go back to St. Bernadette again. My baby died and the priest do not want to come down and perform the last rites." Will said. Mar was almost in tears as she remembers.
Will, eye shining brightly and his voice louder than normal, asked "How do we know he is send off to heaven now?"
Will then shared, in his month of grief, he sought and got an audience with the archbishop. Will requested that the archbishop the priests gave the last rites even if the person is died. Archbishop, full of empathy for Will lost baby, asked where Will wife was, and then said a prayer for Will and Mar baby journey, which somewhat healed Will cries for sympathy.
I believe it is true for everyone have a special something deep within their heart, that if is not given, make forgiveness very hard for the person.
And sometimes, the party that did the hurt, do not know how deep the cut is or do not even know that they performed a cut. And that is the sadness part because how does apologies start the process of forgiveness. And in the midst of reconciliation, it is even harder to remember the 5 languages of apology.
And the story also taught me priest are human too beside their closeness to God, they too need human care, touch and forgiveness.
Chris De Silva - Lord. Have Mercy
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Mamma Mia!
I laughed myself out at this movie. The entertaining script and cute lead actress with seasoned supported actors and actress make the movie enjoyable. And I came away, wanting to hear more about Abba songs and to check out their lyrics. Wikipedia have a good list of songs used in the movie.
If the Broadway show does came back again, I will pay money to watch it again. :)
If the Broadway show does came back again, I will pay money to watch it again. :)
Saturday, September 20, 2008
GRASP
Last Tuesday, I attended a talk by Dr. Melanie Billings on "Negotiation for Success" in DBS Auditorium. She was a every entertaining speaker and make the 2 hour talk very engaging and interesting. She presented her framework for negotiation as GRASP.
G = Goal
R = Route
A = Legitimate Argument
S = Substitute
P = Persuasive
The key insight I take from the talk is to not let anyone "Bear" you. By that, means do not let people wore you down with illegitimate argument, all negotiation must be based on fair standard.
Always ask for a reason for the request if the argument is not fair and say refuse otherwise to co-operate.
G = Goal
R = Route
A = Legitimate Argument
S = Substitute
P = Persuasive
The key insight I take from the talk is to not let anyone "Bear" you. By that, means do not let people wore you down with illegitimate argument, all negotiation must be based on fair standard.
Always ask for a reason for the request if the argument is not fair and say refuse otherwise to co-operate.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Signs
Wil: Whenever you made a decision, think thru with your human mind. Weight the pro and con and then make a objective decision. Pray to God then, explaining how you reach your decision and ask a sign to understand if it is the right decision as according to his plan.
Wil: He will give you signs, thru people / events that either smoothen or block you from moving forward. If it does not came the way u expects, then it is time to pray more and ask for understanding to discern His ways.
Wil: He will give you signs, thru people / events that either smoothen or block you from moving forward. If it does not came the way u expects, then it is time to pray more and ask for understanding to discern His ways.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Guardian Angel Prayer
Oh Angel of God, my Guardian dear
To whom His love commits me here
Ever this day be at my side
To light and guard, to rule and guide.
Amen.
To whom His love commits me here
Ever this day be at my side
To light and guard, to rule and guide.
Amen.
Monday, September 08, 2008
Who's Holding Donna Now - Debarge
This song came to me these past weeks, echoing what I felt in my heart. It was dear Princess that finally said the right words to make me reflect and find what I have failed to really do, after all I had done this year to move on.
It is liberating to find that something that kept me from really moving on, that something which is the reason why I keep failing in my relationships in this year, that something that stirred in me turmoil (which shouldn't have occurred) when Donna is getting married.
Even when I know each gal is different and should be treated differently, I was hoping to find in them the magic that rekindle that delight of not having speaking my desire in words.
Hoping to find magic should be just a sweet additional and not finding it should not be a criteria at all. Each person is a universe and the ability to empathise and expressing your innermost feelings without tiring is a skill that needs constant practice and countless attempts.
That discovery of Donna was a delightful surprise in the start but in the end, with hindsight, best not to be found because she make me a less expressive person and the avoidance of countless hours of finding my core again. Saying goodbye without giving her a chance to make a choice between him and me is something I will never know if it is a wise move. I do know that it was made after much thought and inner searching to realize her love is false.
I do not know now what her role in God plan for me. Maybe I will know in the future. But I do know God answered my prayer by sending Princess to ask me to be more daring and to be more expressive in order to grow as a person. Both points I know already but Princess said in the right time to gave it the deepest impact.
So its time to do what needs to be done. To change the song and dance to a new tune and future.
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
It is liberating to find that something that kept me from really moving on, that something which is the reason why I keep failing in my relationships in this year, that something that stirred in me turmoil (which shouldn't have occurred) when Donna is getting married.
Even when I know each gal is different and should be treated differently, I was hoping to find in them the magic that rekindle that delight of not having speaking my desire in words.
Hoping to find magic should be just a sweet additional and not finding it should not be a criteria at all. Each person is a universe and the ability to empathise and expressing your innermost feelings without tiring is a skill that needs constant practice and countless attempts.
That discovery of Donna was a delightful surprise in the start but in the end, with hindsight, best not to be found because she make me a less expressive person and the avoidance of countless hours of finding my core again. Saying goodbye without giving her a chance to make a choice between him and me is something I will never know if it is a wise move. I do know that it was made after much thought and inner searching to realize her love is false.
I do not know now what her role in God plan for me. Maybe I will know in the future. But I do know God answered my prayer by sending Princess to ask me to be more daring and to be more expressive in order to grow as a person. Both points I know already but Princess said in the right time to gave it the deepest impact.
So its time to do what needs to be done. To change the song and dance to a new tune and future.
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Guardian Angel
"Everyone have a guardian Angel. You just cant see them." Di trying convince me when she saw my face unbelieving look. She told me to read Padre Pio story to understand more.
And my guardian angel did appear that day in the form of a old man on bicycle who signalled me how to perform the reverse parking in the tight geylang loyang 11 street.
Beauty is everywhere once you open our eyes to see it. Amen.
And my guardian angel did appear that day in the form of a old man on bicycle who signalled me how to perform the reverse parking in the tight geylang loyang 11 street.
Beauty is everywhere once you open our eyes to see it. Amen.
People never forgets
I found the following quote to be very true.
And I remember it is always so easy to remember those sad, difficult feelings over those happy, joyful ones. So have you create good feelings to your loved ones and the people around you.
People will forgets what you say
People will forgets what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel.
And I remember it is always so easy to remember those sad, difficult feelings over those happy, joyful ones. So have you create good feelings to your loved ones and the people around you.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Second Crush
10 years ago, MK caused your heart to jump. The first sight of her, standing there in the narrow canteen, sunlights streaming a halo thru her hair, is a sight you remembered forever. You never understand what about her that caused you to like her.
The same her sitting across you have not changed much physically, only slightly slimmer. She came dress simply in a white cotton T with blue denim skirt. As you traded life stories, you noticed that she have become more vocal and more direct than before. You not sure if your comparison is accurate as you realized your memory is fuzzy.
You realized now that her direct, to the point, speaking her mind style makes it easy and attractive to a younger you to like her. A older you realized how you admired her self-confidence and confident of what life works for her and what does not. A wiser you wonders if the confidence and self-confidence is a act from many years of practice.
When you asked her why there no children so far, her darting eyes tell you it is sensitive question to her and then you learn that is a sign that any answer from her will be political correct one.
As you parted, you agreed to keep in touch even thou you realized it is getting harder for you to meet people from your past who have progress on in life stages.
Gravity - You are I am
The same her sitting across you have not changed much physically, only slightly slimmer. She came dress simply in a white cotton T with blue denim skirt. As you traded life stories, you noticed that she have become more vocal and more direct than before. You not sure if your comparison is accurate as you realized your memory is fuzzy.
You realized now that her direct, to the point, speaking her mind style makes it easy and attractive to a younger you to like her. A older you realized how you admired her self-confidence and confident of what life works for her and what does not. A wiser you wonders if the confidence and self-confidence is a act from many years of practice.
When you asked her why there no children so far, her darting eyes tell you it is sensitive question to her and then you learn that is a sign that any answer from her will be political correct one.
As you parted, you agreed to keep in touch even thou you realized it is getting harder for you to meet people from your past who have progress on in life stages.
Gravity - You are I am
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Gal never ask questions with simple intention
"Do you think I am beautiful by Singapore standard?" SL ask bluntly after I told her that she can speak frankly.
"Yes, you are. You have sweet looking eyes with a nice small face. You are well-toned, from your constant swimming. You are attractive." I smile as I answered.
It is much later that I realized her question may be more than just a simple question seeking my opinion. It could be her asking for my opinion of her beauty. I will never know if it is what I suspected because I do not want to know as it will ruin for me the delicate balance between our friendship. For I could not behave myself in the same way toward her again.
The Perishers - Pills
"Yes, you are. You have sweet looking eyes with a nice small face. You are well-toned, from your constant swimming. You are attractive." I smile as I answered.
It is much later that I realized her question may be more than just a simple question seeking my opinion. It could be her asking for my opinion of her beauty. I will never know if it is what I suspected because I do not want to know as it will ruin for me the delicate balance between our friendship. For I could not behave myself in the same way toward her again.
The Perishers - Pills
House Bound Mass: Roman 9:1-5
As I sat there, far from her, away from my sight, yet her slow low voice, cry out with so much appreciation, wonder, love that caught everyone attention.
"Brothers and sisters:
I speak the truth in Christ, I do not lie;
my conscience joins with the Holy Spirit in bearing me witness"
Her voice breaking, choking on invisible tears, continues...
" that I have great sorrow and constant anguish in my heart.
For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ"
She sobs and making great efforts to continue, trying hard to voice out the words that touches her so deeply, trying hard to finish her role in mass.
"for the sake of my own people..."
Unable to finish, her attempts to breath back her tears, her attempts to stop her sobbing, sound out loudly across the hall.
She is a old lady, house-bound, bought over by an volunteer, taking part in a Mass for people like her. Another younger volunteer took over her and finished the passage.
Today reading is more touching, more wonderful than all previous reading I heard, for it was spoken by someone immediately touched by the love of our God. Even though she is not able to complete the reading, her voice showed her faith and love. It is not what is spoken but what came from the heart. And today, her heart spokes.
Amen.
"Brothers and sisters:
I speak the truth in Christ, I do not lie;
my conscience joins with the Holy Spirit in bearing me witness"
Her voice breaking, choking on invisible tears, continues...
" that I have great sorrow and constant anguish in my heart.
For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ"
She sobs and making great efforts to continue, trying hard to voice out the words that touches her so deeply, trying hard to finish her role in mass.
"for the sake of my own people..."
Unable to finish, her attempts to breath back her tears, her attempts to stop her sobbing, sound out loudly across the hall.
She is a old lady, house-bound, bought over by an volunteer, taking part in a Mass for people like her. Another younger volunteer took over her and finished the passage.
Today reading is more touching, more wonderful than all previous reading I heard, for it was spoken by someone immediately touched by the love of our God. Even though she is not able to complete the reading, her voice showed her faith and love. It is not what is spoken but what came from the heart. And today, her heart spokes.
Amen.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Mount Faber BIB 1838 01:02:21
It is simply amazing that I completed 10 km in about an hour time. Mount Faber 10km with its long slopes. And I did not really push myself in doing it. Gosh, given a flat route, I may able to finish 10km is less than 1 hour. Then a marathon (42km) could be finished in about 4 hours.
Amazing! Thinking about it.
One thing for sure is I got change my current pair of running shoe. My ASIC Nimbus 9 is not cut for long distance running.
Amazing! Thinking about it.
One thing for sure is I got change my current pair of running shoe. My ASIC Nimbus 9 is not cut for long distance running.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
The world is a stage
Growing older, meeting new people, going thru familiar emotions in new places does bring a certain wonder and realisation that the world is a stage.
Regardless of what they say about how no two person are alike, you tends to find there are certain class of people with the same way of thinking, responding in the same way to the same triggers even when they are two different persons.
It a certain wonder that someone out there will have realized much earlier and make good use of it. Hopefully, for the good and not the bad.
Regardless of what they say about how no two person are alike, you tends to find there are certain class of people with the same way of thinking, responding in the same way to the same triggers even when they are two different persons.
It a certain wonder that someone out there will have realized much earlier and make good use of it. Hopefully, for the good and not the bad.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Life Choices
Sometimes, you know you need time to make a choose from the two. Time to understand both of them better. To find who they are inside. You thought it will be just one of them in the end because you are tired of searching and will make the best of what is available.
For one who is more closer to your life values but is a workaholic and more in love with her job. You know you will be always be second priority in her life with work right in front of you. You are happy when she talked about changing her life priority but that all talks and no real action.
The other who you enjoy better conversations and in doing so, discovers that she may just needs a companion and you wonders if she is really to settle down. And the doubts prevented you to return her feelings. Maybe, if you have spoken honestly and sincerely to her, it would somewhat bridge the gaps that was created. Then when you tried, it was too late.
You began with a good starts and finished with none of them. Its surprised you that it is neither.
Time do help you to find out more about a person and this episode taught you it is best to talk what is in your heart instead of waiting for tomorrow to say it.
Kim Wilde - Four Letter Word
For one who is more closer to your life values but is a workaholic and more in love with her job. You know you will be always be second priority in her life with work right in front of you. You are happy when she talked about changing her life priority but that all talks and no real action.
The other who you enjoy better conversations and in doing so, discovers that she may just needs a companion and you wonders if she is really to settle down. And the doubts prevented you to return her feelings. Maybe, if you have spoken honestly and sincerely to her, it would somewhat bridge the gaps that was created. Then when you tried, it was too late.
You began with a good starts and finished with none of them. Its surprised you that it is neither.
Time do help you to find out more about a person and this episode taught you it is best to talk what is in your heart instead of waiting for tomorrow to say it.
Kim Wilde - Four Letter Word
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Pain blinded her and drained her friend sympathy
How do you comfort a gal who is in so much pain? That even if she can hear the advise and encouragement from her friend, she is ignoring them?
So blinded by pain that she failed to see her constant negativity is cutting a rift in her friendships. Her stubbornness in believing in her own perception of what happening.
Unable to see that she is the innocent party, unable to see he is the liar, unable to see that her strong desire to reunite is blinding her clarity in thinking, unable to see that she is caught in downward spiral toward total despair.
How do you comfort a gal who is in so much pain? I guess you cant. Except to be wait for her to wake up. And be there to help her climb out of that spiral she had dug herself in.
So blinded by pain that she failed to see her constant negativity is cutting a rift in her friendships. Her stubbornness in believing in her own perception of what happening.
Unable to see that she is the innocent party, unable to see he is the liar, unable to see that her strong desire to reunite is blinding her clarity in thinking, unable to see that she is caught in downward spiral toward total despair.
How do you comfort a gal who is in so much pain? I guess you cant. Except to be wait for her to wake up. And be there to help her climb out of that spiral she had dug herself in.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
BIB 796 15km 01:33:22
2nd time and a longer distance, the experience was different, less enjoyable compared to last year. It is not the weather, for it was cooler and beezer this year. It is not the longer distance, for last year shorter distance was tougher.
Maybe, it is this year run reminds me how much one year had since past. From then to now, so much happened, so much more compared to 2 years ago. So much more on the personal front.
An older eyes and a reflecting mind saw the same running route differently. Knowing the way of route leads means knowing how far away the ending is. But in life, how often do you know where one path ends and another begins?
Did I secretly wished that the end of the race means the end of the current road I am travelling now? Nope.
:) It is have faith and to trust in God that all will be well, for he is a good God.
In the end, I got to meet up with some people I lost touch with and gained a new friend.
ps: the first 5 km was not too tough, it the last 5km that was really a struggle. I am quite surprised I am able to clock 1hr 33 min even when I half walk and run in the last 3 km. It will be a better and faster timing if I had trained more to improve my stamina.
Maybe, it is this year run reminds me how much one year had since past. From then to now, so much happened, so much more compared to 2 years ago. So much more on the personal front.
An older eyes and a reflecting mind saw the same running route differently. Knowing the way of route leads means knowing how far away the ending is. But in life, how often do you know where one path ends and another begins?
Did I secretly wished that the end of the race means the end of the current road I am travelling now? Nope.
:) It is have faith and to trust in God that all will be well, for he is a good God.
In the end, I got to meet up with some people I lost touch with and gained a new friend.
ps: the first 5 km was not too tough, it the last 5km that was really a struggle. I am quite surprised I am able to clock 1hr 33 min even when I half walk and run in the last 3 km. It will be a better and faster timing if I had trained more to improve my stamina.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Taxis driver
He spoke in a fluent, elegant and perfect English. His slim frame and angular face fit well in coolie environment. From his speech, I know he is not the typical taxis driver, he is someone who is well educated and have more experience compared to me. Yet, he is driving me in his well-worn nondescript SMRT car to my destination.
"I am happier now. Responsible for myself only and occasionally have nice customer, like you, to talk to and share our thoughts. I used to have 80 people working under me and I did not enjoy it. I decided to wing up the company and do this. I am a more happy person now." He said.
Dai Lama said life purpose is to be happy. How true it is. It does not take riches or high position to be happy. Material things only bring ephemeral joy. To be positive and happy is all in the mind.
"I am happier now. Responsible for myself only and occasionally have nice customer, like you, to talk to and share our thoughts. I used to have 80 people working under me and I did not enjoy it. I decided to wing up the company and do this. I am a more happy person now." He said.
Dai Lama said life purpose is to be happy. How true it is. It does not take riches or high position to be happy. Material things only bring ephemeral joy. To be positive and happy is all in the mind.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Life Fragility
"I remember that day, how I messed up his hair and told him to watch out for my things and not fall asleep by the swimming pool. Of how in the same morning, he was able to take over me when I was exhausted after 15min of tennis."
"Then he was gone, in that same day afternoon, it was so sudden. His heart just failed. It really make you think about fragile and short life is. And in the funnel, of how everyone remember him not what he do for a living, not of how much money he have, but his sweetness, kindness and easy-going person."
"So nowadays, I decided that life is too short to not do the things you afraid to do."
LSR shared the above with me as we having our dinner. Her words ring true as someone life is not measured by what he does , it is about how people remember the person. And I wonder if the recent events is God teaching me something about life. To not too held up and focus on my career.
"Then he was gone, in that same day afternoon, it was so sudden. His heart just failed. It really make you think about fragile and short life is. And in the funnel, of how everyone remember him not what he do for a living, not of how much money he have, but his sweetness, kindness and easy-going person."
"So nowadays, I decided that life is too short to not do the things you afraid to do."
LSR shared the above with me as we having our dinner. Her words ring true as someone life is not measured by what he does , it is about how people remember the person. And I wonder if the recent events is God teaching me something about life. To not too held up and focus on my career.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Golden Handshake
Met up with Miss Chee for lunch the other day, she still looked good and attractive, just like in her uni days. She is still upbeat even when we talking about her coming golden handshake.
The company she worked since graduation have decided to cut cost and move her work duties to Thailand. She saw the signs and knows it is coming. And she have set her own expectation to receive a 50% pay-cut as she starts her search. With her years of experiences, she is over-qualified for the jobs she is searching for. One alternative that she exploring is to start her own biz. Overall, is to move away from IT which I can relate to.
And as we talked, I realized how true it is to have alternative plans in place, in case life throws unexpected humps along the work. Not only about the industry one choose for the first career and the different role one can play in it. But also about the long term end target. A 2nd "career" after the retirement of the first career, an activity which can keep me occupied in my evening years.
The company she worked since graduation have decided to cut cost and move her work duties to Thailand. She saw the signs and knows it is coming. And she have set her own expectation to receive a 50% pay-cut as she starts her search. With her years of experiences, she is over-qualified for the jobs she is searching for. One alternative that she exploring is to start her own biz. Overall, is to move away from IT which I can relate to.
And as we talked, I realized how true it is to have alternative plans in place, in case life throws unexpected humps along the work. Not only about the industry one choose for the first career and the different role one can play in it. But also about the long term end target. A 2nd "career" after the retirement of the first career, an activity which can keep me occupied in my evening years.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Making Relationships works
Read this excellent article written by Dr Gottman. Belows are several interesting paragraphs that I find enjoyable and very true.
I actually analyzed about 900 arguments last summer. With the help of the lab staff, I interviewed people about their fights—we saw them fighting in the lab and then outside the lab, and we talked about the issue. What we learned from measuring all these interactions is that most people fight about nothing. Their fights are not about money, or sex, or in-laws—none of that stuff. The vast majority of conflicts are about the way people in the relationship fight.
...
"Something that’s been so hard for me to convey to the media is that trivial moments provide opportunities for profound connection. For example, if you’re giving your little kid a bath and he splashes and you’re impatient, you miss an opportunity to play with him. But if you splash back and you clean up later, you have some fun together and you both get really wet, laugh, and have a beautiful moment. It’s ephemeral, small, even trivial—yet it builds trust and connection. In couples who divorce or who live together unhappily, such small moments of connection are rare."
...
He and his wife had a new baby and were fighting a lot. Then after work one day, he and his coworkers went out to celebrate a really successful quarter at the company. Everybody had a good time. People eventually started to go home, but this man and a female coworker lingered. They were talking about the excellent fourth quarter earnings, and she said, “You know, George, this is the happiest I’ve seen you in months.” Nothing untoward was happening, but he was enjoying the conversation in a way that he hadn’t with his wife in a long time. So on the way home, he thought to himself, “You know, we laughed and shared a lot, and it was kind of intimate, and I should really go home and say, ‘Nancy, I’m really kind of worried because I just had a conversation with a woman at work, and I felt closer to her than I’ve felt to you in months, and it scares the hell out of me, and we need to talk.’” But he knew exactly how his wife would react. She’d tell him to grow up and would say, “Hey, I have this baby sucking at my teats and now you’re being a baby, too. I don’t need this kind of crap from you, so just suck it up and get on with it. You’re a new father, and quit having those conversations with that woman at work.” So he decided not to share the experience with his wife because, he thought, “Nothing really happened anyway.” But something did happen, and now he’s got a secret. That’s the beginning of betrayal.
....
I actually analyzed about 900 arguments last summer. With the help of the lab staff, I interviewed people about their fights—we saw them fighting in the lab and then outside the lab, and we talked about the issue. What we learned from measuring all these interactions is that most people fight about nothing. Their fights are not about money, or sex, or in-laws—none of that stuff. The vast majority of conflicts are about the way people in the relationship fight.
...
"Something that’s been so hard for me to convey to the media is that trivial moments provide opportunities for profound connection. For example, if you’re giving your little kid a bath and he splashes and you’re impatient, you miss an opportunity to play with him. But if you splash back and you clean up later, you have some fun together and you both get really wet, laugh, and have a beautiful moment. It’s ephemeral, small, even trivial—yet it builds trust and connection. In couples who divorce or who live together unhappily, such small moments of connection are rare."
...
He and his wife had a new baby and were fighting a lot. Then after work one day, he and his coworkers went out to celebrate a really successful quarter at the company. Everybody had a good time. People eventually started to go home, but this man and a female coworker lingered. They were talking about the excellent fourth quarter earnings, and she said, “You know, George, this is the happiest I’ve seen you in months.” Nothing untoward was happening, but he was enjoying the conversation in a way that he hadn’t with his wife in a long time. So on the way home, he thought to himself, “You know, we laughed and shared a lot, and it was kind of intimate, and I should really go home and say, ‘Nancy, I’m really kind of worried because I just had a conversation with a woman at work, and I felt closer to her than I’ve felt to you in months, and it scares the hell out of me, and we need to talk.’” But he knew exactly how his wife would react. She’d tell him to grow up and would say, “Hey, I have this baby sucking at my teats and now you’re being a baby, too. I don’t need this kind of crap from you, so just suck it up and get on with it. You’re a new father, and quit having those conversations with that woman at work.” So he decided not to share the experience with his wife because, he thought, “Nothing really happened anyway.” But something did happen, and now he’s got a secret. That’s the beginning of betrayal.
....
What contributes to a successful long-term relationship?
Look for the positive in each other. Robert Levenson, of the University of California at Berkeley, and I are in the 18th year of a 20-year longitudinal study in the San Francisco Bay area. We have two groups of couples who were first assessed when they were in their forties and sixties and are now, respectively, in their sixties and eighties. The surprising thing is that the longer people are together, the more the sense of kindness returns. Our research is starting to reveal that in later life your relationship becomes very much like it was during courtship. In courtship you find your new partner very charming and positive. It was all so new then. You de-emphasized the negative qualities and magnified the positive ones. In the long term, the same thing happens. You say, “She’s a wonder woman. She can get us through anything.” For instance, my wife and I have just moved out of the house we lived in for 14 years, and she orchestrated the entire thing. She was amazing. My genius was to sit back and say nothing. In good relationships, people savor the moments like this that they have together.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Text Messages
Strange, recently, I prefer talking to people face to face rather than via text messaging or emails. To hear their voice, their tone, pitch and pace conveys more meaning to a talk between two person that those electronic devices can never provides.
I wonder why have changed to cause me to prefer this.
I wonder why have changed to cause me to prefer this.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
The loved one OR photo of the loved one.
When you look at a photo of a loved one, the love you feel is for loved one and not for the one in the photo. So easy to understand. It is the memory of the loved one that the photo reminds you of your love to her.
So easy to understand. In the context of the Christian religion, what would be your reply if you see a person praying to a statue? Is the person praying to a statue or to the loved one the person think of when he see the statue?
Only the person will know.
So easy to understand. In the context of the Christian religion, what would be your reply if you see a person praying to a statue? Is the person praying to a statue or to the loved one the person think of when he see the statue?
Only the person will know.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Company Size does matter
Beside all that shits and knife dodging in a job, it all cames down to the CV, a single sheet of paper that sells for you before you present yourself to do the selling. Ignoring that its have full of accomplishments, its promote and make achievements shine, there are other matters that are seldom talked and are factors when HR review yr CV
1) the progressive size of the company (in term of market cap) in your career. A employer will always prefer someone from a big company over a smaller company even if the same person have the same achievements. Yes, it is sad fact of life. There are exception but these are only exception for those few excellent individual who is able to sell themselves personally AFTER their CV passed the first filter
2) if you moved from coy (market cap of 1M) to the same position of another coy (market cap of 1B), it a "promotion". The same position of a large company carries bigger job scope and bigger responsibilities. It looks better in CV and HR people recognize it.
It is also a "promotion" if you moved to smaller company but of much higher position.
Therefore, a strategy to climb the corporate ladder, is to start from big company and then move to smaller (in higher position) company.
ps: If you move from a smaller company, no HR will risk letting you be in a equivalent or higher position from where you came from.
1) the progressive size of the company (in term of market cap) in your career. A employer will always prefer someone from a big company over a smaller company even if the same person have the same achievements. Yes, it is sad fact of life. There are exception but these are only exception for those few excellent individual who is able to sell themselves personally AFTER their CV passed the first filter
2) if you moved from coy (market cap of 1M) to the same position of another coy (market cap of 1B), it a "promotion". The same position of a large company carries bigger job scope and bigger responsibilities. It looks better in CV and HR people recognize it.
It is also a "promotion" if you moved to smaller company but of much higher position.
Therefore, a strategy to climb the corporate ladder, is to start from big company and then move to smaller (in higher position) company.
ps: If you move from a smaller company, no HR will risk letting you be in a equivalent or higher position from where you came from.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Which Industry?
For career planning, beside knowing your strengths is not enough. To be focus, it is better to stay within a particular industry. And it is wrong to see IT as one industry. It is a very bad representation and very inaccurate description.
IT in banks is different from IT in vendors and I suspects is different from other part of the economy. Architects in Bank plays the role of innovators and is at the leading edge of technology. They investigate new technologies and establish the best practice and standards in using them. They ensure and inspects the development team that took over using the standards and best practice.
So staying in one industry for the long term works best for career as employers values a CV with long track record. The question is then finding out which industry provides the best environment to exhibits your strengths and interest.
Talking to tons of people will help and I believe trying multiple different company in the early years of your career will add to your experiences in deciding where to go and where to stay.
IT in banks is different from IT in vendors and I suspects is different from other part of the economy. Architects in Bank plays the role of innovators and is at the leading edge of technology. They investigate new technologies and establish the best practice and standards in using them. They ensure and inspects the development team that took over using the standards and best practice.
So staying in one industry for the long term works best for career as employers values a CV with long track record. The question is then finding out which industry provides the best environment to exhibits your strengths and interest.
Talking to tons of people will help and I believe trying multiple different company in the early years of your career will add to your experiences in deciding where to go and where to stay.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
5km only
Running around Mt Farber twice (approx 10 km) was a typical normal running route and I found it incredible that completing even one round is such a difficult and exhausting task. It is not the first time but my 3rd attempt since the marathon.
Being so quickly out of shape just one month after the marathon is a surprise and shock to me. I really got to be persistence and regular at it to keep in running shape. Plus, got to watch my knees and not get them damaged so much.
Being so quickly out of shape just one month after the marathon is a surprise and shock to me. I really got to be persistence and regular at it to keep in running shape. Plus, got to watch my knees and not get them damaged so much.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Changing job
Recently, several very senior managers jumped ship together. The rumor mill says they left for Barclay. The most senior have a 30 years history with the company.
I wonder if they can adapt to the different culture in Barclay. Maybe their senior position helps somewhat. Their movement trigger in me a need to re-examine my decision to make it work in this company and not change job again forever. No, there is no deep unhappiness. It is just wise to observe and evaluate surrounding changes constantly. Even if I do nothing, the world still changes around me.
I think the operating word is Forever, maybe I should not have said not change job forever but to constantly watch on the key factor of supervising manager and compare it what is available out there. And to learns the skill of reading a person character quickly.
Nickelback - Far Away
I wonder if they can adapt to the different culture in Barclay. Maybe their senior position helps somewhat. Their movement trigger in me a need to re-examine my decision to make it work in this company and not change job again forever. No, there is no deep unhappiness. It is just wise to observe and evaluate surrounding changes constantly. Even if I do nothing, the world still changes around me.
I think the operating word is Forever, maybe I should not have said not change job forever but to constantly watch on the key factor of supervising manager and compare it what is available out there. And to learns the skill of reading a person character quickly.
Nickelback - Far Away
Sunday, January 06, 2008
What she taught me...
It feels like deja-vu, the dodgy relationship is full of up and down over her army of suitors. And she could not understand it is not what they do or how many of them, it is her response to them that brothers me. For all her touching care and sweet kindness, what I needed most now is a open and transparent communication between us.
And from it all, I realized I would and could not do these because I could not. I simply could not. And then I realized I must because a gal will love her bf more if he did.
And from it all, I realized I would and could not do these because I could not. I simply could not. And then I realized I must because a gal will love her bf more if he did.
- That a guy will stand tearing outside her home begging for her love. Not just one.
- That older man offered her a unlimited card, 5K monthly, a condo and a car to be his gf.
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