Who's Holding Donna Now - Debarge

This song came to me these past weeks, echoing what I felt in my heart. It was dear Princess that finally said the right words to make me reflect and find what I have failed to really do, after all I had done this year to move on.

It is liberating to find that something that kept me from really moving on, that something which is the reason why I keep failing in my relationships in this year, that something that stirred in me turmoil (which shouldn't have occurred) when Donna is getting married.

Even when I know each gal is different and should be treated differently, I was hoping to find in them the magic that rekindle that delight of not having speaking my desire in words.

Hoping to find magic should be just a sweet additional and not finding it should not be a criteria at all. Each person is a universe and the ability to empathise and expressing your innermost feelings without tiring is a skill that needs constant practice and countless attempts.

That discovery of Donna was a delightful surprise in the start but in the end, with hindsight, best not to be found because she make me a less expressive person and the avoidance of countless hours of finding my core again. Saying goodbye without giving her a chance to make a choice between him and me is something I will never know if it is a wise move. I do know that it was made after much thought and inner searching to realize her love is false.

I do not know now what her role in God plan for me. Maybe I will know in the future. But I do know God answered my prayer by sending Princess to ask me to be more daring and to be more expressive in order to grow as a person. Both points I know already but Princess said in the right time to gave it the deepest impact.

So its time to do what needs to be done. To change the song and dance to a new tune and future.

Viva La Vida - Coldplay