Iliotibial Band Syndrome (ITBS)

It seem that I need to be do some warm up and stretching to avoid ITBS. I was worried that about knee problem since I started running because of a previous old injury suffered during National Services (NS). Thanks to B and her hubby for advising me on it.

Objectivety

E once asked me what would I do if she my ex came back again, say next year? I could not answer then because my heart wanted her back while my brain says trust lost is hard to regain.

Rephrasing the question, if I know now what I know and I meet her like it is the first time, what would I do? My answer is I will still get into the relationship because her type of personality always attracts me and I still love her even though I am not in love with her now.

Of course, what would I do differently in this time round if I know what I know now? (come to think of it, actually for my future relationships) Be more patient, be mature, to not react but receive blaming words and to draw feelings out and understand them.

Snow Patrol - Chasing Car

Tiny lights against the dark night.

There is something magical and wonderful about the dark starless night staring back as you speed home along the stretch of AYE where the port containers called home.

The emptiness of the Sept night so stark void of any stars except for the sole bright unexceptional round moon holding court over the entire sky. The silent beauty of it, contrast against tiny lights coming from the apartment homes along AYE, is so peaceful and magical for me, a moment in time where I will remember.

Even the street lampost add to the magic, illustrating the emptiness of the road, matching the empty sky. Each stood solitary tall and proudly shining the way home for me. And in the midst of this, somewhere I remember the following words and being to think:

"...The stronger the emotional commitment, the greater the tendency to behave irrationally. This is why counselors usually advise against sexual intimacy until mutual respect, trust and friendship have been well established."

"When you are more concerned about the others' feelings than your own, you teach others to ignore your feelings too. And beware: one of the reasons you haven't raised the issue is that you don't want to jeopardize the relationship. Yet by not raising it, the resentment you feel will grow and slowly erode the relationship anyway."

If respect, trust and friendship are the basic pillar for a good relationship and feelings are the expression of them, what should I do if the other partner is unable to express feeling honestly for whatever reasons. The pillars would not be strong if feelings are not expressed honestly.

My bet to answer the question is in dialogs that are honest and sincere, where focus is in listening and understanding of both party stories, where in the end both accepted each other for who they are.

Queentown Stadium Run (Part 2)

Today, I ran the same route as shown in this previous post. The only change was doing 5 set of 1.2km around the stadium instead of the previous 4 sets. Totaling a distance of (4 + 5 x 1.2 + 4) = 14 km.

Even with preparation by loading up with carbo and water, this is one challenging run, specially the run back to the start point. I am totally exhausted.

The good news is I am consistent with my timing for the 5 sets, which meets the aim of the interval training in the stadium. The runners have to find their pace so that they have similar timing for each of the 3 rounds that make up the 1.2km.

By knowing how run evenly allows the runner to prepare for long distance run so that they dun tire themselves unnecessary in the beginning of the race.

Thursday run will be a 1o km run around Mt Farber.

Gotham Penthouse

The crowd was mostly ladies, all eagerly waiting to watch them perform. To feast their eyes on their six packs, well-defined tight arms and well-rounded bums.

Strangely, the ladies kept a distance away from the stage. But their screams of delights and amazement quickly fills the big clearing in front of stage when they appeared. They danced well, to a mix of 80's songs and MJ. Their routine choreographed to the music, their energy and strength can be seen and felt in their well executed moves. Thou at times, they shows their familiarity with the routine, by executing it a tad ahead of the music.

There are six of them, all tall and well-build, with greek God bodies, except for one odd one. He obviously needs to define his muscle more . However, on 2 separate occasion, he was able to execute several Fouetté followed by a off-balanced pirouette. Together, they are the Gotham Penthouse dancers.

I was there with E after we attended a fashion show at Attica. E was particular endeared with one of them. His wicked thin smile, similar to the smile of Penguin in Batman movies, completes his bad boy image. She was very amused whenever they exposed their black g-string accenting their round buttocks. (I did not know guys can wear g-string until that day). And I was amused to see the ladies screams their lungs out.

Overall, the show was clean fun, there are suggestive provocative sexual overtones but they do not cross over into indecency.

Interlude

Lord, the day when lady boss informed about predecessor coming back was the day I went for an interview with my next company. And in the 2nd interview with the HR manager, the preparation I made for another interview, allow me to answer her question easily. The sequence of events is too premeditated and too a intentional for me to not to believe You are there, watching over me.

I found peace in my heart in Your Presence during this period of turmoil. Thank you Lord, for giving me peace and calm to do my final tasks professionally. Lord, it is your Grace and Blessing that I am so quickly is employed again. I praise you, Lord. For being with me, for bringing me back to You. Lord, let me feel your presence always. I pray this in Jesus name. Amen.

5 languages of Apology

"You can't find a long term relationship without apologizing."
"...deal with our failures in a effective way, accepting responsibility for our behavior."
- Gary Chapman.

There are truth in those words above, apology is necessary for any long term relationship, be it work or life related. In the audio conversation about the 5 Languages of Apology, he explains different people requires different type of apology to feel that they have been apologized to. The 5 languages are:

1) Expressing regret : I am hurting because I hurt you.
2) Accepting responsibility : I was wrong.
3) Making amends : What can I do to make up for you.
4) Repent : Desire not to do this again.
5) Requesting forgiveness: Asking for forgiveness.

For me, a true apology will involves elements of 1, 3 and 4. Doing 3 and 4 covers 2 for me and I would not expects a person to do 5 because it is hard for me. More significantly, knowing the concept of 5 languages of apology frees me from expecting the apology language I need, its allows me to understand the type of apology a person can give. To know a person apology languages requires a journey of sincere exchange of understanding and remembering how the person apologies.

Of course, nothing beats the ring of true sincerity in apologizing, authentic sincerity truly start the opening of door to forgiveness.

ps: Interestingly, Gary Chapman have another book on languages of love which begs for me to seek and read. Stay tuned!

Labrabor Park Run

We started off late, behind the main group. When we reached Labrabor Park, we were puzzled and surprised that we did not encountered the main group as we run. Finally, we joined up with them when I discovered the main group was running a different route. We joined them and finished off 2 circuits. This time time run, a min of 8 km + 2 unknown circuits

Labrabor Park is interesting place, with a eating places and long sea front, with a cooling sea breeze.

Mt Farber Loop

Starting from Mt Farber Clubhouse and loop 4.5 times (total approx 9 km, ), climbs 2 x 100-steps stairs. Tough!

Quotes from Grey's Anatomy

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."

Question to self: What would make a person stick around even though he is greatly hurt?

"The point is we can't help who we fall in love with"

"Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending...most of the time. And sometimes, despite all your best intentions, fate wins anyway. "

"You know as well as I do it's not about what you look like, or your job, or how successful you are. It's about having people in your life that you love and who love you...that's all that matters."

Queentown Stadium Run

#!@#$##!!! KNN! Instead of Delta Sport Complex, we run to Queenstown Stadium. In the stadium, another 1.2km x 4 set, and then run back. A total of approx 13 km. I am totally exhausted now, was not mentally prepared for the distance. As I run, I wished I have this song to cheer me. Got to find/bring a music device for running.

Its end tonight (acoustic) - All American rejects

Habitat for Humanity

Bedman Henry Hutabarat is building his home for his family of 4. His oldest child is 11 year old, second child is 9 and the youngest is just over 2 years old. He works as a driver while his wife is a homemaker (right with youngest child, left is Henry). His home is in Indonesia, Batam (Google map here).



His house costs S$3K and will take 4 years to pay back. The money will then goes towards building another home for another family in the neighborhood.

Each week, a different group of volunteers from Habitat for Humanity will arrive and do whatever necessary towards finishing the house. Depending on the stage and state of the construction, they could be transporting bricks using human chain, straightening scrape metal for wire-fountain, digging holes or laying bricks.

When I was there in the 1st week of Sept, we moved bricks, broke and leveled earth and laid bricks. The perspiration we left there was very meaningful as we can see our efforts making an impact even thou it was back-breaking labor intensive work. For me, there is a sense of achievement mixed with educational feeling attached to the time spent there.

Build - Housemartin

Telok Blangah Hill Run

A picture paints a thousand words. Tuesday running route. :) Started from Mt Faber SAFRA and run 5 loop (Green is start point and Red is end point) Total approx distance is 6 km.

A moment in time

P looked so much better, time away restored her to how I remembered her during uni (I would say even better). Over at Food Republic, we exchange laughters, traded stories and shared life scars like it was just yesterday when though we last met in HK end-Jan 2007.

That Sunday shared together is a good memories for me and like personal stories to be told, she is still searching for the right way to tell her personal tale of how she landed herself into another continent and of the rainbow she looking for.

As we parted, I felt very heart warming and joy to see the distance and time in a funny way enchanted our friendship. I wishes P happy searching and look forward to hearing her tale.

ps: I forgot to tell her using bf as a reason is getting a bit stale. ;P

Rainbow connection - Kermit

imeem

Music / songs is a integral part of my life, it soothes and relaxes me. I can remember growing up, listening to my parent LP records (they are in my house somewhere) being played in a big music box (It was the size of a cabaret). When the music box spoiled, the radio took over to keep me company in the lazy afternoon of my secondary school days.

And I loved the days when I installed a Bose sound system with NAD amplifier into my hostel room. The acoustic was pure joy to the ear. I was in audio heaven and my pride sparked off a competition among my hostel mates to get their own better HiFi sets. :)

When I started working, the most loved purchase I had was a pair of PSB Image 1B speakers paired with NAD 320BEE integrated amplifier with NAD CD player 521i. (Yes, they are outdated now but they served me well.)

Today, I discovered imeem, an online audio streaming which allows me to embed audio track in my blog entries. I chose tracks whose lyrics and melody conveys the right mood and feeling matching the entry I write.

The track in this entry is used during the warm up routine during my gym classes. Its easy slow rhythm is very suited for the stretching. I am very surprised when I discover the lyrics is about a guy tormented by a unfaithful gf and wishing her to suffers the same fate. It would been very relevant in some of the older blog entries. However, I learned to be more forgiving and to let go.

What goes around comes around - Justin Timberland

A sad tale

Dear Princess's tears could not run dry as she struggles with the deep, sharp, hurting pain in her heart. Hearing her asking why the one she loves chose another over her resonate with the familiar lost, confused and sad feelings I known recently.

Her story is a familiar , helpless and painful tale of how the one lost do not admits to his contribution to the un-reunited love and even push the blame back. The unfair comparison of her against the other person, which generates so much anger and confusion, are feelings I can understand and empathize with. The sadness part for me is knowing that it would not help her to find her balance if I say for he had shown he is not mature nor honest nor brave person enough to work it out for her. Her cries shows a part of her heart still beats for him.

It is always so hard to let go of a love so treasured. Hearing this tale so close to my own, shows that for all I had felt, my tale is not a unique story, and that I am not alone in the world with the pain and sense of lost. For out there in the world, someone else may be sharing a similar sad tale with a friend.

They say time heals all wounds and letting go takes time. I found the following paragraph speak so accurately about how much time is needed:

"What we do know is that letting go usually takes time, and that it is rarely a simple journey. It's not easy to find a place where you can set free the pain, or shame, you carry from your experiences. A place where you can tell the story differently in your head - where you can relinquish the role of victim or villain, and give yourself and the other person roles that are more complex and liberating. A place where you can accept yourself for who you've been and who you are.

If someone tells you that you should have gotten over something or someone by now, don't believe it. Believing there's some appropriate time frame for getting over something is just one more way to keep yourself stuck. But neither should you believe that there's nothing you can do to enable yourself to let go, or that it just takes time. There's plenty you can do to help yourself down that road." [Difficult Conversations]

Such is the love - artist unknown.

Mt Farber Run

Yesterday, I decided to go running around Mt Farber with members of a running club. They belongs to the Sarfra Mt Farber Running Club. A friendly bunch of people who welcomed newcomers, like me, into their running activities. By chance, I was happy to see some of my friends there, who are training up for the StanChart marathon. Partly because of the people and the run, I decided to go for 21 km StanChart marathon.

The run was tough, I completed 3 of the 5 loop around Mt Farber because I do not want to stress my knees too much. During the loop, discovered there a new eatery/coffee place near the top which I will investigate more in the future. It open air and nice location looks good for dating. :)

No Doubt - Running