How to not to gives advices?

A few year time back, MS husband helped me to narrow down what I looking for in a mate by asking me many difficult questions. One question that stood out is - what is the one criteria to choose from in a mate if I only have one criteria to choose. I could not answer him correctly and I cant remember exactly my answer.

His own answer for himself is his future mate must be caring. To care means to be patience, to have love and willing to share the bad times.

MS 's husband asked those questions so that it can help me find my own answers. He believes that it is the best way to help me to decides. That belief cames from a man who manages more than 100 people.

And I agree with him. The best way to give advice is not to give them but to help the person find the answer to his own questions by asking question that challenges his hidden reasons, reasons which he is unaware of.

It takes life experiences to know how to ask such question. And it is always easier to share it than to learn from it.

Hoobastank - The Reason

The sum of all fears

I watched the Sum of all fears on the TV. It is a good movie and very enjoyable. The lesson I took from it is not how USA and USSR react to each other in a crisis. But the theme of how one must be strong so that not to be bullied.

Not just appearing strong but to show that one is not to be pushed around.

It suddenly hit me that I have been too accommodating and did not fight for my position when people overstep. Is this my the core problem in my current work? I must not let it happen again in the future.

Even when i start on my track to be financial independence, there will people who to tries to take advantage. I must not let it happened!

New Radicals - You Get What You Give

Stand my ground

I realized I must stand my ground more often and make clear the implication of her decision.

Lady boss today decided at the last minute to cancel a user meeting because she wants to give preparation time for the UAT team. When I heard it, I wonder how she going to face the users next time because it was very difficult to arrange the meeting as it involved many parties.

Since she is the boss, she will be responsible for her action.

Income = value * time * scaliability

Attended Great Eastern roadshow yesterday and Allan Khoo was the speaker during the presentation. He is very entertaining speaker and I enjoyed his presentation on why a career in life insurance will be very profitable. Most importantly, walking away from it is how he methodically work out and calculate the time and number of calls required to reach a desired income level. Beside that, he engraved one of the 2 formula into my mind.

The wealth of a person income depends on the value it returns back to society. Its value is multiplied by the number of times it is returned back and how many number it is reached.

The last formula that is engraved in my mind is about Goals.

Goal = Strategy + Action.

Define the goals, plan how to do reach it, learn from the plans that fail and re-plan and re-think how to reach it. No point is repeating the same approach that failed. Finally and most important , take action. Make it happened and learn the failure and success.

Thank You-Dido

Inconsistent

On the other day, she agreed to help me in the preparation of the weekly meeting. Today, she said that she needs not to help out as it is standard stuff. I can do it on my own. *my eyes goes to heaven*

Then, she tried to point out a typo on my document during a conference call. Luckily, it is her typo instead.

Must tahan till the next job.....

Dido - White Flag

Process or Result

I cna't make up my mind whether to hit the gym or get some home rest today. My friend, who was with me, asked me "Is it because of the process or the result that stopping you?".

With a flash of insight, and I thanked him, for making me realised I had fallen into a habit and forgot my reason of going to the gym. So I run a 2.4km under 15min. Not bad for a 35 year old. I think. :) My next goal is to run till I burn 600 calories.

Holly Cole Trio - I Can See Clearly Now