Must remember this

"I will make my bf speak to me even if he is angry and staying quiet." - Li

With these words , its all came together for me, words from separate people at different time in my life,

"I have a long day today, I cant talk to you now, it will not be fair to you and your company." - S
"I will talk to H later, when both of us cool down and had have calm down." - J
" ...I am tired, i dun want to lose my cool when we talk." - M
Reflections

These words came together in a flash of realization and understanding that the best course of action, during moment of conflict,
is take time out so to cool down,
to think objectivity,
to not let feeling rule the head,
to not speak sharp hurting lies,

And finally able to do mature conflict solving.

Li words make realized not all people will understand this approach and it may be tough going for me if my future partner is like Li. Even if she not like Li, the restarted conversation may take tons of patience and control to learn and find the root of the conflict, the source of the differences.

Fergie - Big girls dun cry