The longest time

It was the longest time, a period where I am confused and not sure of how I landed myself in today job situation, now I can pin pointed the exact moment to July 2006. Then, I should have force myself to take a good rest to recharge and absorb the prior experiences.

Instead, I accepted a project assignment with a new boss and a new environment. From then, when my role did not align with my value of taking ownership and responsibility, it bring more tiredness and confusion to my already fatigued stressed out mind.

The subsequent events that followed did not allow me to follow up on my deep subliminal desire to rest. And the outcome is what I am not proud to repeat and tell others.

What would have happened if on July 2006 I decided to rest? I might still be at CSA and would not have learned what I had learned from than till now,
to learn how to appreciate a good boss,
to learn what is bad boss,
to learn there is a world beyond vendor environment,
to learn that I always seek responsibility,
to learn that I need to find the lost positive altitude I have
to learn to take time off to rest and absorb learning experience when I am fatigued.

Knowing now the cause helps to put to rest the doubts I have about my ability. Its adds a sense of confidence and self-esteem into me and helped me to recognize the "bottleneck" in my career which I must plan to overcame.

:)